9128 Book II Chapter 128 of: “Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake!”

Tash began to bark at him again, while I played-off the scene of my final act…..the departure from the lions den. I looked up at sis, and gave her a sweet smile, and said, I’m gonna go upstairs and change, I’m really, really cold, sis!” She smiled back, and said, “Thanks lil bro, you go get out of those cold clothes and warm yourself up sweetie” before turning her attention back to Garrett, as I slithered away, feeling very much like the snake that I felt I was at that very moment!

Oh well, the more I thought about it, the more I was aware that I really hadn’t done anything wrong in the first place…..other than speaking my mind. So I really didn’t feel all that bad about leaving the debate were it should have stayed in the first place, between Tasha and Garrett.

Once up in my room, I stripped out of my clothes, and slipped into a pair of my board-shorts. I started back down the stairs, and the two of them were gone…..thank you God! So I headed out to the pool, almost to the sliding door, when guess who was poking her head back in? Yup, Tash again. I walked out back with her, and she pointed to the pool and said, “Nikita, is this your idea of watching Sasha?”

 

Sure enough, Sash was in the middle of a chicken-fight, along with the rest of the Posse. I said, “I can’t be everywhere at once sis, I hadta go up and change, I was cold. And besides, you told me to, and I did put Blake in charge.”

Tash, “I know, I know.”

Nika, “And by the way, where’s Garrett,” as I was trying to change the subject.”

Tash: “Your right cupcake, we don’t need you getting sick too, on top of everything else we’re dealing with. He’s up in my room getting our wallets. Might as well not use the SUV money seeing as we’re already back.”

I said, “Don’t worry, just go Tash, I’ll keep things together, now that I’m back down here.”

Tasha: “I think I have a better idea Nika. Blake, Sasha, get over here right now!”

Blake and Sash snapped to attention, and both swam to the side of the pool, jumped out, and ran over to us. They asked what was up? And Tasha replied, “Weren’t you supposed to be watching them Blake?”

Blake, “I was Tash, but then Tanner and Jace started in with each other again and I got distracted. It really takes two people to watch everything going on out here.”

Tash: “You’re probably right Blake, and I don’t want mom or dad disturbed.”

Blake: “Now with Nika here, it shouldn’t be that much of a problem.”

Tasha replied back, “Yah, maybe your right, but then again, maybe not. I do have another idea though.”

Nika: “What’s that sis?”

Tasha: “Easy curly, when you have a problem, the best solution is to remove the problem….as opposed to babysit it.”

Blake: “What does that mean Tasha?”

Tash replied back, “It means, you have about ten kids in the pool to watch over, Blake. So the easiest solution is to just remove the problem from you’re hands. Sash, go dry off, you’re coming with Garrett, Nika, and I.”

Sasha: “I am?”

Nika: “And so am I?”

Tash: “Yes, and so is Tanner and Jace.”

Sash, and I, simultaneously, “They are?”

Tasha replied, “Yes they are, if it’ll help you keep the peace until we get back with dinner Blake, and keep mom and dad out of the back yard. So get them both out of the pool and dried off.”

Blake, “You bet I will….gladly!”

Garrett made his way back to the pool, and Tasha relayed the plan to him. Normally he wouldn’t have cared either way, but he was actually quite relieved this time, as the four of us would make a good distraction on our way there and back, and most-likely keep sis off his case. Which at that point, she looked at me bare-chested, and told me to run upstairs and put on a shirt.

And to bring some dry clothes down for the others as well. I was kinda getting annoyed, and said, “What the fuck? Get some clothes on, no, get your board-shorts on, no, go get your shorts and a shirt on……this is fucking ridiculous!”

Tasha and Garrett both laughed, as did Sasha. I began to smile, but also a smile that showed some sincere annoyance. Tanner and Jace walked up to our group, while she and Garrett explained the plan to them. Sash and I turned and began to run towards the stairs and our room, when Tash screamed out to us, “Remember some dry clothes for Phineas and Ferb here as well.”

Sasha and I just laughed and raced up the stairs in a flash towards my room. I was ahead, when I tripped at the top of the second floor thanks to a black and white road-bump that waddled out in front of me? What the fuck can I say, just like ping-pong, I was literally “Skunked” this time, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it……thank you again Shadow!

I recovered and was hot on Sash’s tail….not Shadows. At the top of the third floor, when he paused to turn down the hall, I grabbed the back of his shorts, and pulled them down to the floor, allowing me to scamper by on ahead of him.

He was laughing, as was I, and he screamed out, “Nika You Fuckin Pervert…..that’s no fair you Fucker!” All the while still laughing, and scrambling to get to his feet. I saw him kick his shorts aside while I was looking back to see how far my lead was.

He obviously just decided to ditch his shorts as opposed to taking more time by trying to pull them back up. I turned into my room at full speed and jumped like Superman onto my giant, soft, fluffy, down bed. I was in the process of stripping my board-shorts off and kicking them aside, when Sash appeared in the doorway at full gallop himself, and dove just as I had done a few seconds earlier, up and onto me, with a thud.

We were both out of breath, and laughing, almost in a “hyperventilation” type of way, breathing hard as we wrestled about and rolled across my bed from one side to the other, squished together, with the down comforter wrapping us up like a carpet roll, or a slice of deli meat or cheese.

We were both breathing hard and laughing, as I said, “I guess this is no way to keep you calm, and free from exerting energy…..aye Q-tip?”

Sash let out another large breath, along with a laugh, and said, “Who the fuck cares, that was HELLA-FUNNN NIKA!”

We both began to calm down, and our breathing began to slow, as we looked into each others faces, and then into one anothers eyes. At first we smiled, neither of us able to move a muscle, still wrapped inside the comforter. Until which time we change direction that is, back to the direction in which we had rolled…..whenever that time comes.

Then as Sash continued to smile.  I, for whatever reason began to panic, and panic I did, very heavily. I wasn’t sure at first what brought it on, but looking back on it now, I’m sure it was my lack of control.

And I don’t mean of our bodies, and not being able to move our arms and legs, being wrapped up and all, face to face. But the immobility had somehow triggered in my mind, a lack of control over Sasha, and what it was that was wrong with him, and how to go about fixing it. Fixing “him” as it were!

I began to cry, and cry hard I did, just after my eye’s welled up that is. Sash looked at me confused, as to what was the matter, and unsure as to how things went so happily just a few seconds before, to me becoming a full-on stress case in a matter of seconds, screaming, and shouting out for him to free us, and to please let me move and not let us suffocate.

Sash began to calmly speak to me, and tell me to “Calm down,” and to “Remain Calm,” as I continued freaking out. He used his inertia and energy to roll us the other direction, freeing us from the duvet, until we were able to move our arms and legs again.

I quickly turned the other direction, from looking him in the eyes, not wanting him to see the fear in my face, as it was. I felt ashamed of myself for breaking down in front of him, my baby brother, when he was the child who was sick and facing an unknown outcome. He spooned up behind me and reached around me, taking my hands in his, as he began to squeeze them, and whisper in my ear as to what was the matter?”

I told him the only thing I could think of at the very moment…….the truth. I explained that I felt a loss of control, real or imagined, and had an anxiety attack for the ages. That I felt alone, ashamed, and cowardly. And that I not only let myself down, but him as well. And truth be told, he really is the only one that mattered at this time, at this place in our lives. And his life, and how much longer that will remain, is the real question on all of our minds…..after-all?

He said, “It had to be more than just a loss of control over your arms and legs Nika….wasn’t it?”

I didn’t want to lie to him, so as I breathed in, another trickle of tears ran down my face, and I nodded my head yes. He stuck his face into my curls just below my ear, from spooning behind me, and spoke to me, “It was about me, wasn’t it Nika? It was about what’s happening to me isn’t it?”

I nodded again, and whimpered a little, as he said, “Please, no more feeling this way Nika, not from now on….OK?”

I wasn’t sure of what to say, so I just blurted out the truth real fast and real hard, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you Sash, and I can’t fix it if I don’t know what’s wrong Lil-B!”

Sasha understood what I was going through and what I said, and held me all the tighter, saying, “You can’t fix it whatever it is anyway Nika…..you’re not a Doctor!”

I let out a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a cry, and said, “Yah, but the not knowing is killing me Sash, it’s killing all of us. And who knows, maybe it’s something that Sequoia and I can work on together to help you if we only knew what it is. We wanna do SOMETHING Sasha, ANYTHING!”

Sash: “I know you do, and you’ve been thinking about this a lot, haven’t you Nika? In fact it’s all you’ve been thinking of lately……hasn’t it?”

I said the only thing I could, what was really on my mind, “Yah, yah I guess so buddy, what is gonna happen to you?”

Sasha, “I should have known, I should have had a talk with you already, you mother-hen idiot. Knowing the way you are, I shoulda seen it was killing you inside. But you’ve been hiding-it pretty well.”

Nika, “You have no idea Sash. My insides feel like they’ve been through a meat-grinder, and I wake-up with night terrors, and can’t sleep sometimes!”

Sash kissed my cheek, and whispered to me, “Turn around and face me Nika.”

I did as he asked, and was about to speak when he put his finger to my lips. I blinked to clear the liquid from my eyes so I could focus on him, when he said, “You’re not God Nika, you’re just my big brother. And neither is Sequoia, regardless of what he thinks!”

I said, “I know that, you know that, and even he knows he’s not God Sash, but we’re all pretty sure he’s on his team….and in a pretty important “Archangel” type of way too!”

Sasha, “Probably so Nika, but regardless, whatever is going to happen, will happen. There’s no way around that…..is there Nika?”

“I guess not Sash.”

Sasha: “And worrying about it isn’t going to help either of us…..is it Nika?”

“No, no, probably not Sash.”

Sasha, “Then can you and the rest of the Posse please jus try to stay positive, until we know what I’m dealing with? Dr. Hart said it could be something as simple as a thyroid condition that can be controlled with a daily regiment.”

I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. And I couldn’t help it, but I began to laugh, “Hahaha-haha, kool, thanks Sash!”

Sash, “For what, and what’s sooo funny now Nika?” As Sasha laughed and smiled along with me.

I said, “Just for that line you just said pee-wee, it totally snapped me outta my freak!”

Sasha, still confused, but not insulted, “How so munchkin?”

I said, “Munchkin? Watch it fuzzy, I’m still your older brother, and out-weigh you by at least a couple of pounds. But I think you meant regimen Sash? A regiment is an Army unit…haha. I don’t think you’ll be taking one of those every day, twerp! Unless Tanner’s been rubbing off on you?”

He laughed at that, hell, we both did. Then he hugged me, and it felt just oh so Damn good, doing it. Then he looked at me again, and said, “So no more tears Nika? And only positive thoughts about me from here on out now…OK?”

I said, “I promise I’ll try Sasha, but you know I love you, and we can’t always control how we feel as kids, as brothers, or when we break down….can we Sasha?”

Sasha, “No Nika, we can’t, but we can try big brother……and you will try, won’t you Nika?”

I sniffed again, and wiped my nose, while nodding my head yes. Sash smiled at me, and said, “Good, and remember Nika, a very wise man once said, “The longer you look into the pit of despair, the longer it looks back into you!”

I thought about what he had just said, and how it really, really related to me over the last few days, and I said, “Guess I need to start looking away from the pit then, huh Sash?”

Sasha, “I think it would be best for both of us if you did big brother. I think I need what you have inside yourself to be free from harm. So that you can help me when I really need you to big brother…..at which time when I call upon you, that is!!!”