9131 Book II Chapter 131 of: “Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake!”

Jace, “Last time I was in there, they asked which one of the Olson twins I was? I can’t stand those two!”

I said, “No kidding Jace, they can be pretty unpleasant when they want to.”

Tanner, “No shit Nika, It wasn’t pretty!”

Sash, “Yah Nika, but you woulda been proud of us, we took it to em pretty hard….put the Whoop to em big-brother!”

I said back to them, “You shoulda tried and ignore them you guys. What have I taught you two…..no one wins a pissing contest.”

Tanner, “No Nika, it’s not like that….really! Sasha made sure that we were on our best behavior, and we didn’t look at them, and ignored their insults. We were perfect gentlemen, and even called them ma’am, but they just wouldn’t stop, or let it go!”

I knew Tanner, and his penchant for exaggeration, along with his flair for the dramatic. So I turned to Sasha, with a non-believing smile on my face, and raised an eyebrow?

Sash laughed, and said, “No, it’s true Nika, I swear to you it’s exactly like Tanner said it was. We even let them call us girls, sissy’s, and all sorts of other names. Even the other people in line didn’t like the way they were treating us……Honest Injun (one last bone for you and Sequoia, Buck)!”

Anyway, we continued down the windy highway that resembled a concrete snake (a sidewinder as far as Buck is concerned). The cold gray pavement was lined on each side with a wall of various pine trees as thick as the earths crust, and as high as the naked eye could see. It was almost as if it where a dry riverbed that had been cut into the earths crust, much like a glacier without the ice, over a period of millions of years. An “evergreen” Grand Canyon if you will?

I couldn’t help but feel like we were in a bobsled run, or the slide at a water park as we motored along down the curvy stretch of mountain road. Things had indeed settled down, and we were all actually enjoying a break in the action, that had given us all a quiet period where we could rest our vocal cords and unwind a little. I could tell by looking around that everyone was actually thinking the same thing at the same time.

That even at our age, and our constant hunger for excitement, whether physical, as at the pool or lake, or verbal, with the constant joshing and joking. Like during down times in the SUV, it’s kinda nice at times for everyone to just shut their pie-holes for a little while and focus inward upon ourselves for a spell. Kinda a self-meditation, or just a period of inward teenage reflection.

In any case, I kinda liked the idea that we all had a little time before we reached town for food, that we could just relax and catch up on our thoughts and think things through a little. I couldn’t help but look at each one of us separately, and see that whatever everyone had on their minds, it was either serious, or tranquil. And I don’t mean serious as in scarey or cautionary, but more so….inward and reflective maybe. With the exception of Tasha that is.

Whereas we all (including Garrett) spent the last hour or so being absolute spazzes, Tash was in serious mode, trying to keep the lunatics in her asylum under some semblance of control.

Now, we were all laid back, silent, and content in our regenerative, conscious nap period. While she was rocking and gyrating in her seat like some sort of front-seat lap dance, to the upbeat music being pumped into her ears from the I-pod sitting on her leg.

I kinda thought it funny that we boys all needed a “time-out” to recharge our batteries, so to speak. While she was the polar opposite and was defragmenting herself, and rebounding through music and dance (well, as much as you can in the front seat of a Lincoln Navigator)?

It took a minute or so, but I finally identified the song that had her sooo upbeat and alive. It was from her partial, barely audible mouthing of the song, and what I could hear that escaped from her earphones.

And of course it was the song that everyone loves to hate. The one song that comes out each and every summer that takes over all of the radio stations, and floods the airwaves. The bouncy, uplifting, sickly-sweet piece of tween and teen summer fluff that is constantly playing on three or more channels concurrently in every zip-code.

I just rolled my eyes, as sis smiled and bounced her head from side to side, mouthing louder and louder her regenerative song. To the point where it was not only completely audible now, but impossible not to make out, as she had begun to downright sing-a-long aloud!

Even Garrett broke his train of thought from behind the wheel, and turned for a moment to look at Tash, and mumble under his breath, “Mannn I hate that song!” Before turning his attention back to the road, and continue to circumnavigate Buck’s “Sidewinder,” and proceed to wagon-train us closer and closer to town.

I began thinking about Sasha again, as it was near impossible not to, even as hard as I tried, and even after our talk up in our room earlier. It’s just reality, that when you love someone, it overwhelms you, and even cripples you sometimes when that person or persons are in danger.

Especially when it’s the person or persons that are on your “short-list” of people that are so life-giving, loving, and special to you. So much so that they are on your soul-mate “bucket-list.”

In other words, you would actually kick-the bucket for them (aka. lay down your life, or trade your life for theirs). And that is exactly what I would do giving the choice of course. As I said before, it is a short-list, and the names that immediately came to mind, besides Sash, are Sequoia, Cody of course, and my “America doesn’t have talent” sister, Tash. There in the front seat, sounding more and more like Cameron Diaz from My Best Friends Wedding, in the karaoke scene (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTSBUUpoqRQ).

As that thought literally shot through my head, much like an ear piercing (no pun intended) off key, screeching bullet, sis’s summer bubble-gum hit was beginning to overcome me, and try my patience to the very outer-limits. As I began to sift through my thoughts, I tried to redouble my efforts to block out Tash’s butchering of that song. A song, that was no less, possibly even worse when being sang by the very artist that coined it….if that’s even possible, sorry Carly.

But try as I may, she continued to, unbeknownst to her, verbally assault all of our eardrums with the summer “Bubblegum-Bomb,” that helped cause many a millions of tweens and teens to increase CD and I-pod sales (so as to have something else to listen to), and resulted in the boycott of thousands or radio-stations across the country.

And as I looked around the SUV at my other Posse-pups, who minutes before were in deep reflective thought, I couldn’t help but see the disturbing expressions on their faces, and their disillusioned, contorted faces. Much as if they had just been victimized or fallen prey to one of Blakes super-toxic car-bombs (farts), returning from Fryer-Clucks, or some other Saturday or Sunday Buffett?

Everyone just turned their heads from side to side looking at one another and what to do, as Garrett focused forward, deep in concentration on the road, as it was almost completely dark by now, with just a little glimmer of orange on the narrow horizon. The horizon that we could see through the Cedar, two lane, narrow gulley that he navigated our slot-car through, towards the promised land……greasy goodies!

And as we all sat there, looking for a hero to take charge, and end this acoustical nightmare, Tasha unwittingly only became louder as the song moved forward, closer to its seemingly never-ending crescendo……

I threw a wish in the well, Don’t ask me, I’ll never tell I looked to you as it fell, And now you’re in my way
I’d trade my soul for a wish, Pennies and dimes for a kiss I wasn’t looking for this, But now you’re in my way
Your stare was holdin’, Ripped jeans, skin was showin’ Hot night, wind was blowin’ Where you think you’re going, baby?
Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right, At you baby, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys, Try to chase me, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
You took your time with the call, I took no time with the fall You gave me nothing at all, But still, you’re in my way
I beg, and borrow and steal Have foresight and it’s real I didn’t know I would feel it, But it’s in my way
Your stare was holdin’, Ripped jeans, skin was showin’ Hot night, wind was blowin’ Where you think you’re going, baby?
Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
It’s hard to look right, At you baby, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But here’s my number, So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys, Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,So call me, maybe?”

What can I say, even if I didn’t give a crap about my buddies verbal safety and well being, self preservation is high on every humans priorities list. But in hindsight, I really do care for my compadres, and as Bill Clinton once said, “I feel your pain!”

Well, I felt their pain anyway. So, with the fact/excuse that my Posse was being Bushwhacked and caught in a crossfire (I’m running outta material for you Buck), and hornswaggled (well, maybe not) and trapped in this neo-stagecoach, with a twenty first century “Lilly Langtree” hamming it up with a severe case of laryngitis. I had no choice but to take one for the team and reach forward and yank the headset out of the I-pod, as sis was hitting a high note in mid cackle!

She immediately opened her eye’s and picked up the unit and looked at the touch screen to see what was the matter. With nothing wrong on the screen she rotated the unit and looked at the prong on the headset dangling in front of her. She looked at it confused for a moment, and then up at me……or up at us if you will.

Everyone in the cab let out a victory-hoot, followed by “Thank Gods,” “way to go,” “it’s about time,” and/or “finally,” before breathing a sigh of relief. While simultaneously her mood, and facial expression went from one of confusion to one of annoyance and borderline anger as she pulled the earplugs out and said, “What the hell Nika?”

I responded, “Exactly Tash…..what the hell? You’re killing us in here!”

I’m killing you guys? You guys have been killing me since I woke up this morning! Forget that, you’ve been killing me all summer. Come to think of it, you’ve been killing me since you, Cody, and the rest of the Stup-group turned eleven!”

Well excuse us, maybe you should outlaw puberty in our household, so Princess Tash can enjoy her throne?”

Sasha, looking a little sweaty, pale, and lethargic again, “Tash, can you just please listen to your I-pod without singing along? You’re giving everyone a headache.”

Tash, looking a little compassionately at Sasha, then determining from the looks on everyone elses faces, began understanding that she indeed was being a nuisance, “Yah, sorry you guys, but I love that song, so no worries. Besides the songs over now, and we’ll be in town soon anyway.”

Sasha, “Kool, it was kinda funny thinking about it now….you really, really are a terrible singer Tash.”

Tasha, “Sasha? No, I’m not. And I have a very distinct and piercing voice I’ve been told.”

Nika, “Yah sis, I’ll give the piercing part to ya.”

Sasha, “And I hear arsenic has a very distinct taste, like almonds……but I wouldn’t wanna eat any of it!”

Tash laughed it off and said, “Garrett, your so quiet, what do you think of all of this. Do I or don’t I have a beautiful voice?”

Garrett just pretended he didn’t hear Tash, and acted like he was concentrating on driving and maneuvering the dark, dangerous highway (in fact, eerily approaching the bridge into town where Sequoia and I had our accident with the truck). Tasha was having none of it though, and reached over tapping the back of Garretts head, “Honey, I asked if……”

Garrett turned to her, annoyed, “You know I heard what you asked…..and I’m not saying a thing about it. I’ve been paddling enough miles up shit-creek today from watching the kids to forgetting my wallet and dinner money…..I’m taking the fifth and refuse to incriminate myself!”

Everyone in the back seat erupted and let out a belly laugh, and then continued to giggle for a little while after Garrett’s declaration. Sis just sighed and leaned back into her seat before turning back to us tweeners and teeners in the back seat and said, “Yah, yah OK. I’ll just sing to myself from now on unless I’m alone, so you guys can relax now.”

Jace, “What should we do now then?”

Tanner, “We’re at town now toilet-breath, so lets get the food and get the fuck back home…I wanna swim some more!”

Jace didn’t look all that happy with Tanners comment, but just let it pass by whispering “Fuckin shrimp-dick” under his breath, and then saying to everyone else, “So, whats it gonna be, we have a big hungry group back home?”

You could tell he and Tanner were beginning to pick and choose their battles with one another, and that there was sort of a relaxation of tensions, or Detente in the air….so to say.

But upon Jace’s dinner question, as usual, half the Lincoln shouted Friar-Clucks as the other half, right on queue, shouted Troutburger. Garrett turned his head towards the back seat and said, “OK, OK, we’ve been through this before. We’re not eating here in town, but getting it to go. So we’ll get family-pak meals from both grease-barns, so chill-out and relax. Everyone seemed happy with that as Garrett turned his attention back to the road, as Sasha said, “You know you just went through that red-light Garrett?”

Garrett, “No, no I didn’t. I’m sure it was probably green or yellow when I went through. I only turned my head for a second.”

Tasha piped in with, “No, no you ran right through it sweetie….it wasn’t even close.”

Garrett prided himself on his driving abilities, and wasn’t about to be challenged or rebuked, saying, “I’m the driver, don’t argue with me, I know what I saw.”

I jumped in and said, “How do you know what was happening in front of you, when your head was turned back towards us?”

Garrett, “Because I just do. I’m a gifted quarterback and athlete, with cat-like reflexes and pin-point timing!”

Just then, Tanner shouted up to the front seat, “Well then Mr. Universe, your about to get sacked for a loss, nope, better make that a safety…..cause we’re getting pulled over!”

Tanner was right, we all looked behind us, as Garrett looked in the rear view mirror, and shook his head, saying, “Fuckin Shit….how can this day from hell get any worse?”

 

Call Me Maybe

(Or Tash’s Bubble-gum Nightmare)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic

~Carly Rae Jepson

21 Responses to “9131 Book II Chapter 131 of: “Twinergy and the Boys of Clear Lake!””

  1. George Thoele Says:

    Welcome back Cody. Hoping to find out soon what is wrong with Sasha. Hope it’s not to serious and he will be all right. This is an awesome chapter and I’ll definitely be back for the next chapter(s). (been checking your story site at least twice a day since you poster chap. 130. i missed this story.)

    I hope you are doing ok with your schooling. Keep up this awesome writing and I’ll keep coming back to read it.

    George

  2. yellowjac Says:

    Good one for sure Thanks Cody..PSSS Break is over. Smile, Will

  3. Eric Smith Says:

    Welcome back Cody, I’ve been hoping that there would be more chapters coming. But, I know all too well the pressures of school, so my empathy won out over my patience lol. It was a joy to see the new chapter, and I’m thrilled to know that there will be more. All my best wishes, Eric

  4. jeff Says:

    Mr. Snowe, sir – that was great. We’ve missed you. Hope school/life are going ok. Love the new chapters but don’t work too hard – you’re in your child-bearing years. 😛 – Jeff

  5. Ryan Says:

    Welcome back Cody, I found your story a few days ago and have caught up to the rest of your fans, and it really is an amazing story. Keep up the good work!

  6. Ryan Says:

    By the way, I love how your story connects to the reader. I can’t tell you how much I wish I was there in your story haha, but yeah it’s an amazing story and it makes me wish I had those kinds of friendships/relationships at 12, Oh well 4 years past due isn’t too late to start looking I guess 😛 anyway I look forward to seeing some future chapters and hope all is well for you!

    P.S does this story have any truth behind it? or is it just your imagination at work?

    Thanks again,
    -Ryan

    • codyboarder Says:

      hi ryan,

      and thx! it’s based on were i grew up, and live when im not at school. anyways, just keep looking, and you’ll find your Posse!

      peAce~0ut, cody!

  7. Tom Says:

    Cody,

    Fire an e-mail over?

    Tom

  8. Richard Nielson Says:

    Your Back, I haven’t heard from you in so long i thought you was mad at everyone. Ok I have to say it, I like Tash’s song. But i like this one better from it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3kwdue5XS0 he sings it better. lol I am glad your back i have missed you. Richard

    • codyboarder Says:

      hey richard,

      nice to hear from you…..and yah, i’d seen the “farm it maybe” version. the kid and his big brother were featured on a morning show! anyway, what reason would i have to be mad? be well and ttys EB!

      ~cody!

  9. Ethan Says:

    It’s 2:30am here in Perth, Australia. Decided to check this, and what do you know? I shall not sleep for at least half an hour, it seems I have some reading to do. Welcome back!

  10. Rickey Says:

    Good it’s so good to have something good to read I’ve missed the boys and the writings you do Cody keep up the good job

    Your faithful reader and friend
    Rickey

  11. Horn Says:

    The song was not much good, but the end of the music video was worth watching it. I laughed so hard when… No, I am not going to spoil it for anyone. Just watch it for yourselves, it’s worth it.
    Anyway, I just want to say I am back, trying to catch what I missed.

    • codyboarder Says:

      hahaha,

      yah Horn, that was pretty funny. even funnier, check out the link on Richards comment on the chapter and check out the parody by the little farmboy! funny as hell!

      ~cody!

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